Charlie Wants An Abortion

It’s the episode where Mac and Dennis find themselves on opposite sides of the abortion issue, and Charlie finds himself the father of a 10-year old brat from hell.

You’ve got to hand it to this show.  The first episode was about casual racism and gay sex.  For this episode, they are tackling abortion.  Say what you will about its quality, this show has balls of steel.

The episode starts with Dennis and Mac playing basketball.  Charlie wanted to play but they wouldn’t let him.  This starts a fight which was stopped when Stacy Corvelli, a woman with whom they went to high school, came by and announced loudly that Charlie has a son.

Later, at the bar, this prompted a discussion about abortion.  Dee casually points out the inconsistencies (some would say, hypocrisies) of the positions that the guys are taking.

Charlie brings Dee with him when he first meets his son.  The boy is behaving badly personified.  They all go to the mall where they chance upon the Waitress who is buying a toy for her Little Sister.  Casual racism ensues but because Charlie pretended to be part of the Big Brother program, the Waitress a little impressed and agreed to go to a Big Brother event that weekend with Charlie and his “Little Brother.”

Mac, on the other hand, goes to the office of an anti-abortion group to seek talking points for the next time he gets into an argument about abortion.  There he meets Megan and he agrees to go to an anti-abortion rally with her.

At the rally, Mac pretends to have killed two abortion doctors, for the cause, which excites Megan.  Cut to the two having sex in a car.

Mac tells Dennis about this.  Dennis was about to join him at the next rally until Dee points out that there’ll be more women on the side that fights for their right over their own bodies.  Dennis decides to join Dee instead.

At this rally, Dennis was not having any success at hitting on the women on the pro-abortion side.  He decides to switch sides but in doing so, got in the crossfire of the two sides throwing eggs at one another.

Megan on the other hand, tests Mac by saying she is pregnant with his son.  Mac, of course, fails spectacularly by suggesting an abortion.

Charlie finds out from Stacy that he does not, in fact, have a son.  The father, Jimmy Doyle left them months ago, and the pressure of having to deal with the Spawn of Satan got to her.  So she decided to find Charlie and lie.  Since Charlie thinks he can get to the Waitress using the boy, he still wanted to take him to the Big Brother event and she agrees.

While waiting for the Waitress at the bar, the boy got drunk.  Dee throws both Charlie and the boy out of the bar.  Charlie tries to talk the boy into getting sober when the Waitress and her Little Sister got there.  She leaves even more disgusted than ever by Charlie.

Charlie, in his anger, finds the boys actual dad, Jimmy Doyle to give him some talking to.  Instead, he finds out in Jimmy the Satan that spawned the devil child that is the boy.

Choice Lines:

“Come to Philly for the crack”

“Do you represent the lollipop guild, Charlie?”

“Which one of you fags is supposed to be my dad?”

‘I’ll blow you for $10?”

“Did you see the ‘Passion of the Christ?’ I’ve seen it 12 times.”


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