Charlie Has Cancer

This week, it’s about cancer and transexuals.

Dennis stops by Charlie’s apartment to pick up a basketball, and Charlie reveals he might have cancer. It’s an awkward situation.  Charlie tell Dennis to keep it to himself

At Paddy’s, Dennis tells Mac and Dee about Charlie’s cancer.  Dennis and Mac decides to cheer up Charlie by finding a woman to sleep with him.  Mac meets a gorgeous lady, Carmen.  He tell Dennis and Dee that he’s found the perfect woman to sleep with Charlie only to be told by the two that she is a pre-operation transexual.  Charlie goes back to Carmen to confront him but she flirts with him and Mac asks her out instead.

Dennis convinces Dee to help them find a girl for Charlie.  She agrees only if she gets to punch Mac in the face, in retaliation for a Christmas party where he punched her in the face, after being approached from behind.

At Dee’s acting class, her classmate, Artemis, cries as she lost her job. Dee tells Dennis she has a girl willing to bartend for tips, Coyote Ugly-style.  In exchange, she does not have to find a girl to sleep with Charlie.

Dennis walks in on Carmen and Mac watching football. Carmen leaves and Mac is left explaining to a grossed-out Dennis that he wants to be first in line with Carmen after her sex-change operation.  Dennis and Mac agree that the right girl for Charlie is the Waitress.

Dennis and Mac catch Charlie spying on the Waitress. Dennis goes up to the Waitress, tells her that Charlie has cancer and Dennis and the Waitress hook-up.

The next morning he confides in Mac that he banged the Waitress.  They decide to pay the Waitress to sleep with Charlie.  Dennis offers her $200. She counters with $250.

Cue to a montage scene with Charlie and the Waitress, and Mac and Carmen on dates.  Two awkward dates.

At Paddy’s, Dennis meets Artemis.  He is not having it – as Artemis is overweight.  She auditions for Dennis and punctuates it by licking Dennis’ face. Charlie arrives seemingly very happy, and Dennis asks him about it in the bathroom. Charlie reveals that he went out with the Waitress.  Furthermore, Charlie informs him that he, in fact, does not have cancer. Dennis gets upset, tells Charlie that, together with Dee and Mac, they’ve been trying to find ways of making him happy.  He also tells Charlie that they paid the Waitress money to sleep with him.  Charlie tells him they didn’t have sex.

Mac meanwhile is out ordering a Philly Cheesesteak and talking to his mom on his cell phone about this wonderful lady he is dating.  Carmen tries to surprise Mac who punched her in the face.  Two guys see this and gets angry at Mac that he punched a girl.  Mac explains to them that it’s a dude with a penis, and they decide that it’s a hate crime and they pursue Mac to kick his ass.  He reaches the safety of the bar where Dee punches him in the face.

Mac and Dennis visit the Waitress’s apartment and ask for their money back, but she shuts the door on their faces.

So, four episodes in, and we’ve dealt with racism, gay sex, abortion, underage drinking, statutory rape, cancer and transexuals.  This was in 2005.  I might be remembering this differently but it was a much different time back then.  This was groundbreaking stuff.  It was even more brave that it does not even call attention to itself.  It helps that all the 4 main characters are supposed to be “unlikeable” which helps us, the audience, to understand that the jokes are not to make fun of the gay man, or the black woman, or the transexual woman.  The jokes are on the four main characters.

Choice Lines:

“Yeah, but Charlie’s got such great hair.  Is he gonna lose all of his hair?”

“That is so sad.  He is gonna look so bad without his hair.”

“Dennis, our bar is in South Philly in a scary alley.  Might as well call it rape bar.”

“Carmen, you have the most amazing body.  Are you bulimic, or what?”

“You can accessorize your compassion with your outfits.  Really cool.”



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