Charlie Got Molested

I am going to hell.  Is it bad that the episode I found the laugh-out-loud funniest episode is the season 1 finale which is about child molestation?

Especially with what’s happening in the news at the moment…

As the gang plays pool, Mac finds out that a teacher that he and Charlie had is accused of molesting his students in the 80s.  Charlie acts all sketchy and leaves, and of course, Dennis thinks that Charlie was also molested.

Dennis and Dee talk about ways to help Charlie deal with his molestation, trumping the Psych classes they both took at Penn, making fun of Mac, who is getting more and more agitated.  Why?  Because Mac cannot believe that Charlie and the McPoyle twins were molested while he was not.

Charlie goes to see the McPoyles.  Charlie confronts them about the fact that they were not molested.  Charlie tries to convince the brothers to retract their accusation or he will turn them in.  They disagree and in turn threaten Charlie that if he does, they’ll tell the cops that it was his plan, which was true.  It was something he drunkenly said to a group of people, including the McPoyle twins at a New Year’s Party.  Meanwhile, Dee and Dennis are outside the apartment arguing about who has the better credentials to help Charlie.

Meanwhile, Mac goes to Coach Murray’s house in short shorts to induce the Coach to make a pass at him. Coach Murray kicks him out.

Back at the bar, Dennis uses a game of pool to coax Charlie into talking about his molestation, but ends up arguing with Dee in how to do this.  Charlie walks out on them. Mac arrives, stating that after reading about pedophiles, he doesn’t think Charlie was molested, because pedophilia is not about sex but about power and preying on the weak.  And Charlie could not have been molested because he was a little psychopath.  Dennis and Dee make fun of Mac.

Dee and Dennis go to Charlie’s mom and told her that they Charlie has been molested and with her help, got his family and the McPoyle twins to conduct an intervention on Charlie.  Charlie’s mom, Bonnie, made Charlie show on a doll where he was touched.
He reluctantly points to the butt.

Charlie leaves with the McPoyles.  He told them they should go to the police and file a report.  At the station, Charlie rats out the McPoyles,

Back at the bar, Dennis and Dee congratulate each other on healing Charlie.  He says that they have ruined his life because now everybody thinks he’s been molested.  Mac returns to Coach’s house to apologize.

Choice Lines:

“Holy shit.  Charlie got molested.”

“I was cute.  I was energetic.  I was fun.  I mean, what exactly was this prick looking for?”

“If the McPoyles got blown, and Charlie got blown. Why didn’t I get blown?!”

“Three-quarters of a major is a lot bigger than a whole minor.”

“We just stepped out of the shower. He’ll be down in a minute.”

“Be strong for your little gingerbread man.  This isn’t a time for an episode.”

“We could always split it 50-50-50.”


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