Charlie Gets Crippled

So, the first episode of the second season.  We dig deeper into the family history of Dennis and Dee, and meet their father Frank, played by Danny DeVito.

Mac, Dennis and Charlie are having a drinking contest when Dee arrives saying they should leave because their father is on his way.  They decide to go to a strip club but Charlie decides not to come with them because no one would lend him twenty bucks.  Then, Dee’s and Dennis’ father show up, surprising the gang, causing them to back up the Range Rover and running over Charlie.

At the hospital, Frank tells Dee and Dennis that their mother died.  Just kidding, they are getting divorced.  And he plans to give away all his money.  To poor people.  As expected, this does not sit well with Dee or Dennis.  Frank tells his kids that their mother is a whore.  Dennis and Dee storm off, leaving their father with Mac and Charlie, who is now in a wheelchair.  They decide to take Frank to a strip club to cheer him up.

At the strip club, two strippers feel bad for Charlie because he is in a wheelchair.  This gets Charlie and Frank free lap dances.  The strippers and Frank, Mac and Charlie all end up back at Charlie’s apartment building.  Frank kicks out both Charlie and Mac so he can have sex with the two strippers in Charlie’s apartment. The next morning Frank finds Charlie asleep in his wheelchair in the hallway and manages to convince him to crash with him for six months.  In exchange, he’s paying Charlie’s rent for six months.

Dennis and Dee find each other at their parents home for valuables, ransacking for valuables. They fight over who gets what.  Continuing the fight back at Paddy’s, they gloat over what they took.  They escalate the fight by breaking things that mean a lot to each other. Mac arrives in a wheelchair and convinces Dennis to get one so they can pick up chicks at the mall. Dee is disgusted. At the mall, Dennis and Mac find Dee using the same strategy, using a back brace and walking sticks.  They leave because ‘ the mall has been desensitized.  They have a wheelchair race at the mall and end up beating the crap up each other.

Charlie decides that it’s not enough to be disabled.  He needs to dress up as a war hero to get even more strippers. Instead of a dress formal, he goes for the full-Tom Cruise circa “Born on the Fourth of July.”  He comes in the strip club belligerent, so Frank boxes him in a corner so he can’t crimp his style.

Charlie returns to the strip club one more time, and sees Frank in a motorized scooter.   Frank is going full-Stephen Hawking.  They begin to fight in the parking lot. They are chanced upon by Dee who is still pretending to be disabled and the guy that Dee has conned into liking her.  Franks gets Dee’s walking sticks from her, which clues her friend on her con.  As they all fight, a drunk Dennis falls asleep at the wheels of his Range Rover, with a similarly drunk Mac, who is also asleep, riding shotgun, run them over.

At the hospital, everyone who pretended to be crippled is now truly crippled.   They begin to fight again until Frank offers to buy everyone ice cream, to celebrate the fact that nobody important was seriously hurt. As they leave the room, they pass the man who was with Dee, now in a full body cast.

Choice Lines:

“You are a horrible father.”

“Right, so when you say you’re gonna give away your money to poor people, do you mean like Mexico poor, or can it be like me and Charlie poor?”

“Look at sweet Dee sitting on her cloud of judgment, handing down life lessons for all the sinners.”

“If I have to listen to you talk about this stupid god damn stuffed elephant anymore, I am gonna punch you in your neck…”

“What a bunch of assholes.”

 

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